Khadija HetavkarContributing Author, Rightantra Raising a child can be an overwhelming and challenging experience for parents. Children are impulsive, defiant, self-indulging, and in need of proper guidance. To regulate a child’s behaviour, a variety of disciplinary strategies have been implemented by parents over the years. These disciplinary strategies include time-outs, a temporary withdrawal of privileges, positive reinforcement, verbal reprimands, and physical punishment. Physical punishment is the widespread practice of parents/guardians causing pain or physical discomfort to children in the name of instilling discipline and controlling their behaviour. Examples of physical punishment include but are not limited to:
Physical punishment might induce an immediate reaction and rectification in fear of being reprimanded again but it does not have any long-term benefits. In fact, physical punishment leads to repressed emotional and mental development in the child along with a host of other issues like:
So what is the right way for parents to discipline their child while maintaining a healthy and happy parent-child relationship? There are many beneficial and sustainable alternatives to discipline and encourage good behaviour in a child. Having a healthy and supportive relationship with the child is a good start. Authoritative parenting is a good example of encouraging positive reinforcement and discipline without being physically punitive. Authoritative parenting style is considered to be the most ideal form of parenting. This parenting style is defined by striking a healthy balance between love, support, flexibility, and discipline. Authoritative parents are supportive and welcome open communication but at the same time, they set clear guidelines and boundaries, and expect good behaviour from their children. Research has proven that children thrive under authoritative parenting which is characterized by give-and-take communication, encouraging opinions, reasonable demands, and high responsiveness, and supporting age-appropriate independence. The likelihood of a child, who is nurtured in such an environment, developing into a secure, socially adept, self-confident adult is higher than one who has been subjected to physical punishment and scared into submission. Raising a hand on your child is never a recommended form of discipline, but at times when parents are going through a period of extreme stress or frustration, or the child has done something unacceptable and needs to be reproached immediately, parents do hit their children. Even a parent who hardly ever resorts to physical punishment might be faced with moments where they lose their composure and physically lash out at their children despite not intending to. In such situations, console the child, talk to them about why it happened, and try to connect with them on their level. Apologizing and owning up to your mistake teaches children to be accountable for their actions and also, helps them deal with their emotions in a positive way moving forward. It can be a difficult and rocky journey for parents trying to discipline their children but striking the right balance between reward and reproach will immensely benefit them in the long run. Spare the rod and instead encourage, motivate, and discipline your child the right way. References:
Please note that this is NOT legal advice but the legal opinion of the author and is for informational purposes only.
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