Cheshta TaterCo-Founder, Rightantra Maybe it is the area of study I am in or maybe it is my generation, that we talk about sex quite openly and plainly. Sex and sexuality are as old as mankind but I’m sure eyebrows will be raised for opening an article on a child rights platform with this subject. While most readers would choose to read further to see what I have to say, some people will only continue reading it in the hope of some “spicy” content. Some will read further so they can criticise. At the end of the day, sex sells. Why are you reading it? Let me explain why I am writing it. As someone who runs a platform for children and is regularly reading the news report of children all across the world being wronged because of sex and sex offenders, I believe this topic needs discussion. There is a lot surrounding sex that needs to be addressed, at different ages. I was one of the privileged children to have access to a decent sex education (I was introduced to it in school as early as at the age of 10 years). I would call it “comprehensive” or “perfect” back then but now I realise that the entire programme only talked about sexual health (which is indeed very good) and heterosexual sex. This meant that when I first met someone from the LGBTQ+ community (I was 17 at that time), I asked an array of the most nonsensical and offensive questions. Now, it is absolutely alright if you think that it is pointless to talk about sexuality with a child; if you have the rhetoric questions: “how will this teen even know about their sexuality if they have never had sex”, “how do they even know that they’re trans and not a tom-boy or an effeminate male or just homosexual”, or “how can this person not want to have sex ever”. These questions or remarks are not your faults. It is the fault of poor quality sexual education. Why do I say this? Am I an advocate of sex maniacs? No, I say this because comprehensive sex education is a lot more than telling young adults to not have sex before they marry or to always wear a condom. The image below is not an accurate representation of sexual education, but is an accurate representation of what sex ed has been reduced to: Before I elaborate upon what sex ed should be, let me share some news with you:
These figures speak for themselves. The issue is not geographical or cultural—the statistic from the USA clarifies this. Sure, the age of sexual consent in the Western nations is much lower but India does have a strong history of sexual discourse and acceptance of queerness. If you are interested in reading some interesting facts about the history of the LGBTQ community in India, click here. So how does sex education help? It is not uncommon to think that introducing sex ed to teens would only cause them to have more and more sex and increase teen pregnancies. This is just a misconception, just as many others birthed due to inefficient and inaccurate sex education. Comprehensive sexual education would ensure that every person knows what consent means and that sex without consent is rape. It would mean that people practice safe sex. It would mean that everyone knows that safe sex is more than just slipping on a condom—it is about consenting to the sexual partner, location, and other circumstances, hygiene, sexual diseases, respecting the sexual partner and making them feel safe as well. It would mean that children trust their parents enough to go to them and tell them if someone has sexually abused them. It would mean that there are minimal misconceptions about sex and that no sexual offence goes unreported. Yada, yada, yada...why does it have to be more than heterosexual sex? It has to be more than heterosexual sex because heterosexual sex is not the only type of sex that exists. If the education has to be comprehensive, it cannot leave out a portion of our population. The imparted half knowledge has the potential of converting into stigma against members of the LGBTQ+ community. The generation which doesn’t receive comprehensive sex ed is ill-equipped to parent children who may identify as queer. We live under the assumption that every person we come across is heterosexual and identifies with their birth assigned sex. With more and more people becoming comfortable with coming out of the closet and embracing their true self, children need to shed away the indoctrinated bigotry and treat everyone around them with respect. Low quality sex ed and the majority narrative of the society tend to be hurdles to the most basic human rights, the right to equality and the right to dignity. A step as simple as broadening the scope of Sex Education can help in creating an inclusive society. Of course, this has to be age appropriate. In my vision, these are some aspects which must be covered over years: Below the age of 9 years: consent and good versus bad touch; reaching out to trusted persons when wronged; treating everyone with respect; how to not be limited to gender roles. Ages 9-12 years: menstruation; anatomically correct words (it is demeaning to have food and animal names assigned to your body, especially the female body); and identification and avoidance of pejorative slags and slurs (eg: f*g, sissy, twink, etc.). Ages 13-18 years: Safe sex practices; sexual health; sexual consent; sexual offences; talking to parents about sex and sexuality; associated mental health issues; how to seek counselling; how to help friends who are struggling with their gender identity or sexuality. Teenage is a volatile period, with or without sex. All adults resonate with their teens being an awkward phase. An added pressure of the education system or the society not accepting you could be shattering. It is no doubt a horrible feeling to live under the constant fear of your parents disowning you for things you cannot change or being sent to be “converted” (read the dark truth of conversion therapy here) while being continuously bullied at school. If comprehensive sex education can reduce someone’s agony, it must be opted for. Remember, sex ed is not only about safe sex, it is about a safe society.
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